Bought And Sold!

Was having a conversation the other day with a friend and we were talking about a specific time in his life when he made a choice not to allow the thoughts and actions of others to influence how he feels about himself and his daily life experience. I found this conversation as many of my conversations very enlightening and affirming. Like many mentor’s of mine that walk in this time base consciousness remembering ways to keep their joy alive and present at all times, not willing to give up their peace. People who are my teachers and remind us that life is suppose to feel good. We also discussed other choices that we have made in our life that have birth others of the same nature of vibration. We will call them our higher choices. Choices that we make that benefit ourselves and in turn benefit others. How is that possible? Well when we are tapped in, tuned in and turned on, we are aware of our thoughts and actions and are able to make conscious choices about how we feel in a moment to moment deliberate action which in turn creates our reality.

That brings me to my topic “Bought and Sold”. I have found listening to conversations in my life of how we continue to play a script of our past life learned lessons over and over in our present moments that yield the same result, most of the time not very favorable ones. So I often respond when asked, how do I change my situation? Begin by telling a different story and your results will change. At first, most are perplexed but then I go on to explain that we unknowingly respond to people, places and things the same way no matter where we are in our life’s journey the way we have been taught or have learned another way a putting it bought and sold.

We have been fed a diet of things that tell us that we are less than and that we should expect mediocrity and except less than what we want and just be grateful. (I know I am talking in general terms, but I am trying to get and idea across so I don’t lose you along the way). Okay so lets for example talk about how we place a meaning on something for example, I was cheated on, I was disrespected, or betrayed. With those meaningful statement comes a complete researched unwavering script that runs automatically devoid any ability to make different choices. For instance I asked an acquaintance how they were doing with their friend with whom a year ago betrayed by them. Now before I tell you how he responded, you need to understand the physical change that took place first. It seemed as if the temperature changed in the room, followed by a shift in mood and then a somber tone in the voice and words of discomfort and pain spewed from this individual. I took a moment before I responded and then I asked” So you still have not forgiven yourself or the other person” Surprise and anxiety came through and they spoke rapidly and defensively, They fucked me over so I am still trying to get over what they have done to me. So I replied, it seems you feel the period of grieving needs to match the severity of meaning in which you attached to this event. I guess you feel the need to allow this person to have that much power over you that you give up your joy when ever you see or think of them, who by the way you are living with and see everyday. I asked how long is this process of non-forgiven going to continue to influence your life experience? Many of us take an event that happened in our past and attached a certain meaning to it based on what we have learned, bought into and let that be a formula for decision making from that moment on. It is just a moment in our lives not unlike any other moments. We always have a choice to decide if this moment is a defining one that is going to shape us in a way that is going to uplift and support, or condemn and close us off from experiencing the wondrous events that are available to each and everyone one of us.

That brings me to the statement Tapped in tuned in and turned on, I use it often in my life because that is the way I have found allows me to have control over my life experiences. When I am conscious and making choices moment to moment that are of higher vibration that allow me to keep my joy all day everyday I am deliberately creating. We have bought into the idea that we are suppose to hurt, and suffer in our lives. We have bought into the idea that it is the way of life, as many of our wise teachers and mentors have bestowed upon us. However, I am here to tell you that anything that is not loving and supportive of my mission, I am unable to use in my life experience. Those are a few of many things we are taught as we go along this journey, most of it is not very loving and or supportive, it is all fear based. Our parents and teachers believe by telling us those things that they are protecting us from the harshness and indifference we are sure to experience in our lives.

Really, life is hard and we better get used to it! Not my story, I am not buying that bill of goods. That kind of thinking only leads to a life of believing that we have no control over what happens to us and that we are powerless to how the world is going to treat us. I am here to tell you there is a better way. Lets do something that many may believe to be radical. Re learn what we have been taught or remember who we are, Beautiful Brilliant, Beings that are entitled to do and have anything our hearts desire just because we are born. How about that, life is suppose to feel good and what is the opposite is in fact true, that we are suppose to have joy in our lives all the time and life is good always. What if we decide to save the meaning for a thing and get on with deliberately creating the life we imagine and want to have. If you attach a meaning such as Fucked over as my friend spoke of, there is an entire generational script that runs with that statement. No wonder the time it takes to get over such a thing seems like a lifetime. What if we choose not to be Fucked over, what if we look at the experience as a lesson or blessing that we can use to propel us forward instead of holding us in a pattern of despair and pain. My friend then went on to explain how they created a home of comfort, peace and love for the both of them and in return received betrayal and disrespect and how that is why they can not easily forgive them. A Great story to tell at parties when you want to continue to be a victim and receive victim benefits. You know the response from people that enforce and support that victim mentality. So my response was how long are you planning on being a victim? They responded, what do you mean? I did not say I was a victim. Really, when you said you were fucked over, disrespected and betrayed. Were you not speaking of your response to someone’s actions? No one can do anything to you, you don’t allow. Save the meaning for a thing! Then I asked why don’t you feel proud of yourself for wanting to create an experience of love and comfort for another, why would you not feel you were expressing your higher self when you want to see joy in another person? How could you take that wonderful expression of love, which is the essence of how worlds are created, and choose not to see the beauty and courage in that expression?

Well part of it is that we have been taught to have knee jerk reactions to life, if someone behaves this way then we respond that way, An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and so on and so on. We believe that the lower choice or the negative is easier to accept. That is a false belief, its just learned behavior. Many of us have been conditioned to be prey to how someone is responding to us with scripted responses to life’s conditions. I went on to tell my friend that if you did those things, love, comfort and support to elicit the response that is favorable than what you were doing is trying to control the other person. Well you can only imagine the response I got from that statement. Yes, it is true, we go about our lives and try to control each other. How you ask, well whenever you try to temper or second-guess how you are going to say or do a thing to try to get the other person to respond the way we want, we are attempting to control that person. Think about it why would you pattern your actions based on how someone is going to respond. Do you really have that kind of control over another? Before you take anytime on that I will answer. No We Do Not! The only absolute control you have is in your choice of how you, we are going to respond to life experiences. Every moment I have the ability to decide how I am going to feel about a person, place or thing. That is the realm of my control. I absolutely do not have control of another. The other person has the freedom to respond the way they choose, consciously or unconsciously. If you come from a place of love, which is your highest choice in relation to life experiences, that includes people, places and things, then we don’t have to worry about the intended response. Just think when a person who is less fortunate ask you while you are in your daily experience for money to help them get something to eat or ride a bus and you decide from love to give them what you can afford to give. Now if they do not use the money for what they asked for is your gift than any less? Does what they do with your gift a reflection on you in any way? I hope your answer is no is does not. We do not have control over what someone’s response is going to be based on our actions. It is a great waste of our energy to attempt to figure out where someone is in their life and in that moment we encounter them to then try to decide the outcome of the experience. Time is better spent going about our lives being aware of what we are thinking and feeling and how to choose moment to moment to enhance our joy. That is where our control and power is best spent. If we realize that we are responsible for how we feel and think, then we understand that is the same for everyone. So to my friend I explained, whenever you come from a place of love, you never have to worry about the outcome. Be deliberate and choose how to feel and think each moment to moment and in a very short time you will realize that whenever someone is behaving in a way that is less than favorable, understand that they are not behaving from their higher self. They are not tapped in tuned in and turned on. Begin by saving the meaning for it and get on to your own desirable mission to choose higher each moment to moment. Get out of the business of telling the same story with bought goods that do not love and support our mission and remember if we attend to the business of ourselves we give others permission to do the same.

I told my friend in closing to be proud that love was expressed in relation to another and to give love and support for ones self. Look to the lessons that are available in the experience of recognizing how we respond to who is showing up in another so that expansion, which is what we are here to do can continue happening.

If we are to begin the process of healing we must begin to re-learn those things we were taught, those scripts we bought that do not support our joy, and stop telling stories that yield the same undesirable results. If you want a different result, tell a different story. Now is the time to buy into the idea that we deserve anything we desire and that life is suppose to feel good. Now I will buy that. Sold!!!